I don’t know if I would call myself an expert at anything. I do however feel like there are whole load of activities in life which I am relatively good at. I am even proud of some of my relative proficiencies like efficiency at work, breaking bad news, treating alcohol withdrawl, and nordic skiing to name a few. Some activities I am likely an expert at but not so proud of like how to eat snickers without your wife finding out, or how to convince your children not to curse when they hear you do it frequently. The crazy thing is that I have gained some expertise over this last year that I would never have wanted, such as sensing what nausea is troublesome versus benign, what drugs actually cause photo sensitivity, and how to deal with male bladder spasms late at night. These reluctant areas of knowledge I really wish I hadn’t ever realized. More importantly they seem to be so useless even while being a physician. More importantly I really don’t want to ever have to impart such knowledge to people despite the fact it may be of use, simply because I don’t want anyone to have to cope with these situations.
I do realize though, my knowledge gained through this last year will unfortunately be useful to someone. Sooner in my life than I would have imagined I will be imparting some of this understanding. Tonight Brooke and I went to a little party for a friend who will be starting chemo. Her chemo will be different and I can’t illuminate what her body will do with the toxin turned salvation. In fact I hope I didn’t just scare her about what may happen. I know many people gave me advice about coping with chemo and the mental anguish of cancer of which it was all so helpful to hear even if the pertinence of the point was lost before the moment of necessity. Being my first time of really attempting to help someone prepare for the rocky road is far harder than expected. I don’t want to make it sound like a walk in the park but I don’t want to squash the hope of tolerability. My guess is that in trying to provide a midground I only illuminated the roughness which lies ahead. In doing so I realize I clearly need to work on applying my new knowledge more effectively. In reality I have to accept the perception that I may be knowledgeable, a reluctant expert.
The family as a whole was asked today to impart our unwanted experiential knowledge today as we were interviewed by a local news station for a helmet safety segment. I was happy to see Liam has overcome his fear/anxiety of talking about the incident of a week and a half ago when he was trashed by a snowboarder resulting in 6 staples to the head. He wouldn’t stop talking for the camera. I was a little bummed they didn’t show him more on the final cut but he did do a good job. He was quite excited today as he got his new helmet also. Bern Unlimited, the helmet makers did a great job in getting us a new helmet quickly and Liam was excited my all the stickers and free shirt he got. It was a reminder though how lucky he was. Again I wish we would not be the professors of this information but if it does help someone else out than it will be worth it. I seem to be mentioning this frequently of late. I sure hope I can quit learning from these types of events they make the 23 years of school seem much more tame. If only I could convince Liam of that now so we can quit arguing about his small amount of homework.
Head Up, Heart Strong. I need a cure.
The Video of helmet saftey can be seen at KTUU website under video labeled Helmet Safety or at