A year gone by

Today was the last day of school for the boys. It was a eerie red morning due to the smoke from all the fires around us. Despite this the day turned out to be quite lovely. A vast difference from my day a year ago. I was reading my Caring Bridge and thought I would plagiarizer my own self. Although the day is one day off it was the last day of school last year that I entered one of the toughest stretches of my cancer journey, at least I hope it was one of the toughest (I don’t want anymore like it). 

5/23/13

The night was sort of a blur from yesterday. More nausea, more abdominal pain. This pain was something new to me. Enough that I figured I needed to go to the hospital early this morning. I was able to hold off a little so we could get the kids up and moving and arrange a plan tot drop them to Jeff and Beth. I literally crawled through the house. Once we deposited the children we made it to the Hospital. I was taken right back and despite my pervade of not using any narcotics so far, I didn’t hesitate.

 

An ultrasound was done and revealed a sludge ball in the common bile duct. A freaking sludge ball. What do you do with that? No one seems to know. It isn’t a true gallstone but my pain fibers seem to act as if it is. I remember hearing from one of you that every round brings some new adventure. This is crazy. Regaling you how crappy my day was though seems a bit useless. So I have requited Brooke to tell me about hers and the boys.

 

Obviously the day started off for them by being yelled at to get ready “daddy isn’t feeling well.” When I sat down on the bottom step of our staircase Finn came over and head locked/hugged me and said “I will protect you Daddy.” Liam ran around finding crafts he had made that I should take to keep me busy redecorating the rooms I would soon visit. I felt really bad for Liam as today is the last day of kindergarten and it is Field day. In my day this was the day of all days. A chance to win everything I entered. I am sure he could care less. Brooke did check on him and he was active which is all we can ask. Shortly though he took up residence with some of the moms around to see about helping with food distribution.

 

Liam left school and seemed okay with the last day of school despite the fact that he has been worried he will miss teacher Mckee and especially teacher Olga. He didn’t have a bike a school and so he had to run/jog home. He insisted on wearing his winter boots about half way before agreed to get into shoes. At home Uncle joe was ready to take Liam to Halibut Cove for the weekend. Liam climbed right in and started reading. Didn’t even say goodby to mommy until forced to do so.

 

Finn on the other had spent most the day with the Wagners. He didn’t take a nap and by the time Brooke got him he was already sort of a mess but refused to nap even for Brooke. She tried to run with him in the stroller but he refused and insisted on his scooter bike. He however became rapidly tired do to no nap and Brooke’s athletic endeavor for the day turned into 3 year old pushing.

 

Finn was not happy when Liam left with Joe. Recently he has been a bit of a trouble child when angry with 30 minutes tantrums. This one ended up with Finn fighting off his seatbelt in the car to do some errands. Brooke gave up for a second to grab a phone call and wrestling a three year can be grueling. Immediately Finn hopped in the front seat and ripped the rearview mirror off. Brooke was not happy but this added strength allowed her to buckle him up. When she tried to replace the mirror the windshield cracked. Needless to say Finn is in trouble.

 

Brooke is here with me now. Makes me happy and she says best part of her day although I can’t imaging listening to me moan in pain, drag to the bathroom and wonder why all day is that fun. I guess that is true love. My bluetiful girl is truly amazing.

 

Head Up Heart Strong. I need a cure.

 

 

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