I sit at our big window looking into the back yard. The green of summer is fully upon us. Everywhere you look the color of early summer is thick. The green is punctuated here and there by the white or yellow of flowers an somehow appears even darker than normal in the gray light of the mono toned sky. IT is absolute still from where I sit. The trees are not swaying, they are weighed down by the dripping green which is splattered everywhere. There is no wind and I do not even see the insects which normally swarm in the light of the late evening. I am sure if I was outside the sounds with be more vibrant. There would be the chirp of birds, the far distant laughter of the few remaining kids at play, and the hum of a city which is so near by. Yet, from here the green painting is just that, loud only in its majority color.

I have never been a lover of color. I am simpleminded in what colors move me. The sparkling white of crystalline snow, the deep blue of the mountain sky, and the green of new life. This vibrant green of the spring is always so pleasing even though it is not my favorite season. I can always recall the lush green of the Yampa valley in the early spring as I would return from either far away or a simple early morning spring ski on Rabbit Ears pass. I have not experienced that pleasure in a almost three years now. I do not have many regrets from my last ten years but I do miss and wish I could have gone back there more.

Our friend Kate Miller is visiting us from Seattle. We always talk about our return trips to Steamboat and it makes me sad I do not have any recent stories of such a wonderful place. Lately I have thought of a lot of places I haven’t been recently. I am glad I am here to experience my boys but I hope soon I will get to start experiencing some of these spots with them. The change in the weather was exciting for the boys yesterday but today was sort of a dip in the energy from the past month of sun. We did not accomplish much today as they were both a bit emotional and drained. Although I had wanted to try out a hike I have done many times before but have never taken them on. Instead we ended up just wandering around our zoo. The animals seems a bit lackadaisical as well. 

After such a mellow day, sitting here enjoying the green of spring in the cloudy gray night seems fitting. The stillness is thick but comforting. I would like it if my body would find this stillness and vibrant mix of life all at once again. I have been struggling with more nausea recently and although I need the meds I curse the side effects they bring. There is no easy way to accept the grouchy stomach but it is made easier by the pleasant thoughts and enjoyment of the spring view I have. Simple colors, simple pleasure, simple thoughts, simply living. 

Head Up, Heart Strong. I need a cure.  


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