Another year

“Well you made it another year!” A classic birthday wish uttered so frequently and quite nonchalantly in most occasions. Surely there are times when the phrase will hold more meaning. As a youngster we think of phrase in cases of restless wild hearts who test their abilities to dance along the edge of disaster either for fun, irritation of love ones, or simply because they know no better. In the middle age crowd, the sense of every progressing life and the oncoming decline of our bodies which despite all our efforts and knowledge we can not overcome. In the elderly years the phrase carries such different connotations for each individual, some a badge of honor, some a sobering reminder of the ever slipping sands of time, some a call to live more fully.  Then there are the times when people do not fit anywhere on this spectrum or in one fell swoop cover all the meanings at once. I do know that as I have heard this, over the last few days as my day of arrival to the earth has approached, I feel all of these lines of reasoning.

I am thrilled to be alive after all my dangerous and whacky activities of youth, I am fully aware of the rapid decline which time has brought me, I can carry this year as a badge of persistence of not honor in the ability to carry on, and I know that although I will not overcome the inevitability of life that I need to keep living as fully as I am capable. In the past I would have shrugged off such comments as the silliness of just what you say. Last year I held at a distance the idea I may reach this point. Today although I feel crappy and dragged down by this little viral illness I am ecstatic I have been around to see my family for another year and enjoy all they have provided me to remember.  Although I keep at bay the thoughts of many more years ahead anymore I am proud and relieved to say I did make it another year.  May Leukemia never return, may my life be full, may I be happy and may I comment upon this phrase next year.

Head Up, Heart Strong. I need a cure.

 

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