The last two times I boarded a plane south out of Alaska headed towards Seattle I had no real idea what to expect. I wasn’t really sure or convince I would be coming back. Today feels a bit different. I am not in the midst of some horrible dream. What I am dealing with now is still not a pleasant as if I was leaving for a week of mountain biking, surfing, or SUPing with a bunch of friends in the lower 48. the idea though that I am going and at least a small portion of the week might be spent doing fun entertaining activities is exciting. I might change my mind after tomorrow’s miniscule bone fracture, the horrid feeling of the bone marrow suck, and the resulting ache but whatever, I don’t plan on chemo, or all the other crap that goes with it. Obviously there is some anxiety about the trip and the planned procedures which might not show all the goodness I would like them to show but I can accept this for now.
I am tired and I don’t know if it is from going all day long from activity to activity with the kids while packing and getting ready or the anxiety of a plane flight. Either way today was enjoyable and now I am going to enjoy a little nap before our obligatory red eye flight out of Alaska. I haven’t asked for much good ju-ju from those of you who follow me regularly but I could use a little for the next few days. I hope the results are good and I get to keep thinking the positive ways I have been for the last month or so. I will try to get in a few words about what is happening but I hope that everything goes smoothly enough that I am busy meeting with my Seattle support, enjoying some Northwest summer, and not thinking about Leukemia.
Head Up, Heart Strong. I need a cure.