I don’t know if it is the cancer or the kids but I am constantly amazed with how days can turn out. No matter what the plans for my day are they seem to always shift and change through the day. I believe before kids that yes my days were unpredictable but seemingly less so. After having kids the days became more hectic and clearly less planned. Since getting cancer nothing seems to be very scripted. It is possible that I am just more accepting of the day but given my stubborn nature I don’t believe so. I might just be keeping my eyes open more to the fluctuation of the daily routine.
I am sitting here thinking this because of how our night is drawing to a close. Yes, it is beautifully sunny this evening. The temperature is pleasant but the screams of my four year old are tough to block out. Finn has been quite a little angel all day today. He was game for a long bike ride through town. He listened to my directions when we were riding on tricky narrow sidewalks to get around bike trails under construction and he even attempted a short nap without much of a fight. This evening he continued his pleasant demeanor. Unfortunately he brought upon himself a tremendous turn of events.
He has been quite entertained with a balloon today. He was blowing it up letting it go, using it for a water gun, making noise with it, and just being a kid with a balloon who figured out how to blow it up and how not to swallow it. It seemed to entertain him quite well. We were getting ready to head off to a bath this evening when I took a moment to show the boys a few pictures of when I was a kid myself, which stemmed from a discussion of our hair color. The kids thought it was funny that I used to be blonde and grandpa Jim had black hair. I was sitting on the ground flipping through some pictures when I suddenly was blasted in the ear by a load of spit and air from Finn holding the balloon next to my head.
He thought this was quite funny. I did not! Although most parents can claim so unexpected attack from a child at some point (I wrote about one time I hit Gayle in the eye a couple months back) this was a bit much. Given the fact that I am Immunosuppressed and I seem to have real trouble with ear infections of late I was not happy. Despite my initial desire to want to “Homer Simpson little Bart” I refrained and tried to explain the reason I was taking the balloon away. This was likley unheard over the initial screaming protest. I was able to calm him down but he continued to argue and eventually lost his bath and books on his way to bed.
As the tantrum is slowly weaning down now I find it funny that such an event can change the profile of a day. I will spend the rest of the night trying not to worry about another ear infection and not the myriad of other activities of the day which is unfortunate. I will try to remind myself that it was a small moment and that the screaming led to a sounder sleep for the little guy. Still when you are coping with an unfit immune system these things are tough to put out of your mind.
One issue which may take my mind off this little incident though is the thought of my good friend Llyod who is one of my most loyal followers of the posts and supporters of my struggle with AML. He and his family have been wonderful to us throughout. Today he found himself on the other side of the positive thought process. In every momentary silence of the day I tried to think good thoughts of him and his family. He underwent a tricky procedure to get a heart valve fixed. He had to leave his support group to get this done. I know how hard that is. We are all wishing him a rapid and uneventful recovery. Maybe I will get to read some of his stories now.
There are so many other people I know and care for tonight who are out there coping and dealing with hardship. I wish them all a restful night. Our days can sometimes seem so smooth only to end up with spit in our ears or worse. Most of us soldier on though. This is all we can do. We don’t really know where the adventure will take us next. This being said it is still wonderful and amazing.
On cue here comes Finn, I thought he was asleep, but he is thrilled with a book he is trying to read himself. Liam is right behind him, wet from the bath, footprints all over and dripping on my bed, his comment “I guess that’s what you get with kids!”
Head Up, Heart Strong. I need a cure.