almost normal

I have a lot of thoughts still running around in my head about the recent MedX conference in Stanford. It is now Wednesday and I haven’t saved the world yet so instead I will have to get back into the more normal flow of life I guess. I will still be thinking of ways in which to use the ideas which have been planted in my train of thought though. To those of you hoping to see my speech on YouTube I apologize it is not up. They have a lot of video to edit through for the three days to make the presentations YouTube palatable, although truthfully that doesn’t take much.

My day was hectic today. I woke up to get the boys rolling for school, popped in most of my meds, got the kids dressed and downstairs for breakfast when I became quite nauseated. As I have mentioned previously my sommelieures sense of nausea has become quite profound over my cancer journey and this was a rather catching feeling. I thought maybe if I got some food I could avoid further abdominal disagreement. I did not have enough time though and I was soon genuflecting in front of the porcelain alter.

After a few rudely coined phrases and some clean up I was feeling quite a bit better. Not the usually “I just puked and feel good” knowing full well it will return but some actual relief. I don’t know why but the order of my meds seemed to really irritate my gut. I was able to lay down a few minutes before attemptingĀ  little food. After about half an hour I actually felt okay. Finn was mad he might not get to ride his bike to school so I rallied and agreed to take him. After dropping him off I came back home and got on with the day which turned out to be pretty busy.

I spent the rest of the mourning at the first year medical student class listening to a great intro on how to talk to elderly patients by our esteemed Palliative Care fellowship director Dr. Rust. This was followed by watching the students sort of struggle through a social history with a very sweet and sharp as a tack 90 year old. IT turns out his is the father of one of our family friends and his story of world war II was quite similar to my grandfathers which made it hard for me to eventually interrupt and get the students to stop just listening and actually try to gently move their history taking along. I felt quite bad stopping him but after 40 minutes of stories the students clearly needed a little help. Still the goal was eventually achieved and I believe our wonderful volunteer truly felt we had listened which is what we set out to do.

I spent the afternoon, collecting some simple supplies to get our garage back in order for the approaching winter. I snuck in run before I picked up Finn. It was the first real run in the rain I have had in a long time. Last year I couldn’t get wet because of the Hickman line and by the time it came out we were skiing. I haven’t really timed it right to be in the rain for a run yet this summer which is and indication of our summer. The fact is such a simple little touch to the day made it all the better. I spent the evening making dinner as Brooke ran Liam around to after school activities. Finn acted as if he were reading and told me an entire story of Curious George. After dinner and the boys getting settled I cleaned the house and reflected on how similar today seemed compared to my pre-cancer days. It felt wonderful, normal, scary, and strange all at the same time. I know it isn’t the same, It never will be. The day was close though and I will accept that and revel in the little joys I experienced.

Head Up, Heart Strong. I need a cure.


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