I spent a beautiful blue sky day sitting inside today. A little unfortunate but it wasn’t a waste of time. I had run into my neighbor whom I don’t know so well as he moved in last year during my tumultuous adventures in and out of hospitals and back and forth to Seattle. He is a Medic/EMT educator amongst other talents and invited me to a resuscitation conference/workshop this weekend. Now normally I spend a good deal of time discussing with patients why they should elect not to have CPR done,mainly because they have far more issues than just cardiac arrest and the likelihood of success is slim. Yet there are clearly times when a proficiently run cardiac resuscitation is extremely beneficial. The feeling of being able to effectively participate in that sort of dire moment is something all physicians, EMT’s, Firefighters or other medical providers get some odd pleasure from. So a chance to get the update on all the newest in this realm I could not pass up.
It was good to see a number of people I have known through work. When I see these people again and give the extremely abbreviated story of what I have been through this last year it still seems like a dream. It almost feels like I am lying about it because I actually do not think I look much worse for the wear. If I didn’t know any better I could have almost dreamed (more like a nightmare) the whole thing up. Of course, at the same time I feel like I might still open my eyes and find myself back in some hospital room or procedure room just wondering if this is all true. I have been there enough this last year.
The greatest part about doing stuff that I would have been doing had this never happened is the feeling of normalcy. Granted my life is still far from normal or what I would consider normal but the last week has felt oddly calm and refreshing. As I have mentioned the weeks that Jim and Gayle are back in Steamboat I feel a little sense of relief just because I am glad they are back home enjoying their normal. I am doing activities almost like I would if I was enjoying a week off. I know that could change at any moment but I have to revel in the feeling when it happens. So that is what I am doing. Enjoying my new life. It is still changing and I still feel a bit like I am a pinball in a arcade game but right now I feel a bit like I landed in one of those ball traps where I will just sit for a while. I won’t complain about that. I will just try and be happy.
Head Up, Heart Strong. I need a cure.